Lost and Found

If you read my last blog you know my camera was missing.  I was beside myself because we looked every where for it and it was no where to be found.  Even Sophie the finder of lost items couldn’t find it.  To me my camera is and extension of myself and I was feeling lost without it.

Well good news!!! We found it. Or should I say I found it. Whats weird is it just appeared out of no where. I was sitting at the pc and felt a cold draft to my right. I looked over to the right and there it was right on the floor in the same spot that we had all looked. I asked Sophie to bring it over to me and it was ice cold.  I checked the pics and my xmas eve pics are on there but no xmas pics. So either they got deleted or the more likely story here since I was so out of it is none got taken.  Which bothers me that I didn’t get to document any of it. Important thing here is that I have my camera back. 

I don’t know if somehow we all over looked it as it was in plain sight the whole time. Or more likely my resident spirit was messing with me. Either way it’s here now and that’s all that matters.

I got a letter from my Oncologist today. She’s taking a leave of absence due to a death in her family and has referred me to another doctor within her practice until she comes back. I of course went into instant panic mode. What if she’s not versed in this kind of cancer, what if she doesn’t understand my problems, what if she over looks something, what if I don’t like her. Just on and on.  I had to take one of my anxiety pills because my head wouldn’t stop with all the what ifs. I really need to get a hold of my anxiety issues.  I hate that something so small as this throws me into panic mode.  It’s very frustrating.

I received a sample of Burt’s Bee's Milk & Honey body lotion in the mail. I tried it and am in love with it!!!! My hands feel so soft. I highly recommend this to everyone. If you haven’t tried it then run out and buy some. It’s worth the price. Makes your hands instantly soft and has a soft pleasant scent to it as well.

Camera

This was going to be my Christmas blog. However, my camera is missing.  I am beside myself. Those that know me well, know I never leave home without my camera. I always have it close at hand because you just never know when there will be call for “THE” perfect photo.

I remember bringing it out with me Christmas morning but from there I have no clue.

Sighs…I decided in my infinite wisdom to take a new medication on Christmas Eve.  I was in a lot of pain and was hoping it would give me the pain relief I needed to sleep. Well it DID do that but it also gave me huge brain fog. I was pretty out of it the entire day.  I know the camera never left this house so it’s somewhere. But where? Where would someone in a drug induced brain fog put a camera?  UGH!!!!! I just wanna cry.

I’ve looked around for it but I’ve not done serious looking and I will do that today. Sophie is my finder of lost items so I’m going to put her on the case and pray she finds it.  So everyone put out some good finding your camera energies please.  Because I have no clue where it’s at.

 

I have a freebie for you. The first one is a free ebook on windows 7. You can learn the basics of windows 7 for free. Clickity “HERE” I did not sign up for this one as I am comfortable with my copy of windows 7.

So I leave ya’ll with this…”There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it's going to be a butterfly. --Buckminster Fuller”

Whats Your Creative Power

Your Creative Power is Your Intuition

You just seem to have a knack for knowing what's going to work. You can't really explain your creative process. You just get started, and magic happens. You have a lot of endurance, and you're a hard worker. Once you get focused on a project, you don't stop. You are a trendsetter, and you seem to understand what people love. You are very forward thinking.

What's Your Creative Power?

Blogthings: Free Quizzes for Everyone

Twas the Week To Xmas…

This has been one of the most busiest, and drama filled weeks I’ve ever had.  We have been hit by one snow storm system after another and it seems I was always out and about during the worst or it.  I really need to move south some where.  Yes I’ll miss having a white Christmas but I’ll deal with it.  It’s a small sacrifice compared to having to deal with the snow and ice all winter long.

Monday brought us Liz’s birthday. Our plan was to have a girls day out prior to my appt. with the Oncologist.  I got little to no sleep the night before so I was awake on pure caffeine only. We weren’t supposed to get anything other then flurries but nope, we ended up with about 3inches of the white stuff. With the majority of it falling while we were out and about.  In spite of the lack of sleep and bad weather I think it went well and we had a nice time. 

My Oncology appt was canceled due to a death in the doctors family and school  got out an hour early due to the bad weather.  However, I was able to get a short nap in which  was much needed.

The rest of the week went by in a flash and is a blur.  There was a lot of family drama which seems pretty much the norm for us these days.  I really hope that we’ve reached the end of the drama because I am tired of dealing with all of it.

Weds I went to see my pain specialist. My pain level keeps increasing which is causing me to not sleep the best. It hurts to move, getting out of bed is a chore but I do it.  Which in turn all of it is making me cranky. The doctor told me that I’ll never be pain free but we are just trying to get it to a manageable level. Ummm…pain manageable? Whatever! He increased my pain meds and plus gave me a new med to take at bedtime. 

By the time Christmas eve got here I was in immense pain. Pain unlike anything I’ve felt. I was  going on about 4 hours sleep in two days. Every time I would start to drift off to sleep I would be woken up by Mr. Pain.  It felt like he was squeezing my bad leg in the front and trying to break my bone.  I would gladly go through labor any day over this pain.  I have to even do my lamaze breathing to get through the pain.  So xmas eve I finally took the bedtime meds the doc has prescribed and it knocked my ass out. So much so that I spent most of xmas trying to function and not doing the best. LOL

Xmas we ended up locked out of the house. We couldn’t break in because Brian felt the need to nail shut every window in this house top to bottom.  The gas light was on in my van and the extra key was in CR. I had not a dime to my name.  We finally got some money put some gas in the van and drove the hour it takes to retrieve the key. It was not a pleasant drive to say the least. Lesson learned. Gonna make tons of spares and put them every where and have a few trusted people have  a copy so we don’t have to travel so far when and if it happens again. It was just one of those things where we were all at fault.

I’ll blog a positive blog about xmas eve and xmas in my next blog. I just needed to vent in this one.

Ramblin’

It’s another cold day today. Though temps are supposed to start creeping up a bit. Right now with the windchill it’s      –13F That is just to cold if you ask me.  Last night was Emma’s concert and it went well. Was short and sweet just the way I like it.  I’ll be blogging about both Sophie’s and Emma's concert soon. Or hope to anyway.

We are expecting a couple more inches of snow sometime tomorrow night. I hope we don’t get anything.  The gravel roads are all ready crap. 

It’s so hard to believe that Christmas is almost here.  I don’t know where time seems to be going these days. Even the kids are surprised at how fast time has been flying by. 

Lilly wasn’t limping this morning when we let her out to potty. She’s also wanting to jump up on things more and more.  I have a feeling that it’s gonna be a long 4-6 weeks trying to keep her settled. Today is day 5 since everything happened so she’s healing at a pretty good rate. 

Woke up in a tremendous amount of pain today. From my neck to my feet. I took my meds and gonna go lay back down here in a few. Hoping that when I get up from my nap I feel a bit better.

A friend of mine lost a friend of her’s yesterday to a tragic murder. This woman had small children and her husband stabbed her to death in front of the kids then killed himself.  Something like that is so heinous at any time but you add the fact that two small children bared witness to this. Sighs….please send and or comforting energies/prayer to these children and the couples other children whom were thankfully not at home at the time. 

I know this is a bit of a ramble today but that’s how my brain rolls yo. LOL!

This N That

It is bitterly cold here today. Right now the actual temp is –2F with windchills of –18F. That is just to cold. I feel sorry for the people who have to work out in this weather. It can’t be safe!

Tonight is Emma’s xmas concert at school. Sophie had her’s last week. While I don’t like to have to go to two concerts at the same school, it is nice that it doesn’t last anywhere near as long.  They are also starting earlier this year which is a big plus in my book. Sophie’s bed time is 7:30 and it’s hard to make that bed time if we are at school.  Hoping that they just do them during the day eventually.  Though I do see there would be parking problems and not all parents would be able to go. Oh well…It’s convenient for me that’s all that matters. LOL

A lot of people are asking how Lilly is doing. She’s doing pretty good. She’s still in a lot of pain but she’s moving around a bit more.  She still trys to jump up on or off the couch/bed.  So we are trying to keep an extra close eye on her if we aren’t holding her that is.

Here is a pic of Lilly as a Jewish boy….Don’t judge we were bored.

She was like duuuuuuuuuuuude. Whatever…………LOL Poor pup is almost always laying on or next to someone these days. Though I think she likes it. She’s always been a cuddlier and a lap dog.

Guess does seem to be a bit jealous of all the attention Lilly is getting. So she is up my butt these days. Wanting me to pet her, wanting to lay on my bed at my feet. She doesn’t realize she’s as big as a human and there just isn’t enough room for her on my bed.

She also wants to play a bit with Lilly which isn’t possible right now. So Guess came over to Lilly could “attack” her.

Lilly wanted to play more but that’s about all we allowed her to do.  You can see Liz holding on to Lilly. She wanted to leap off of her lap and onto Guess. LOL. Silly puppy.

It seems to be cold every where today so try and stay warm where ever your at!

Times of great consequence

Times of great consequence

Is there something that has you troubled, concerned or discouraged? That very same situation can just as realistically cause you to be hopeful and encouraged and positively successful.

The future has not happened yet, and the way it will unfold is completely open. Where there is the possibility for defeat and failure there is also the possibility for success and improvement.

Where much is at risk of being lost, there is much that can be gained. Times of great consequence are times of great opportunity.

Just imagine what would happen if you could turn your perspective around. Just imagine it, and know that's precisely what you can do.

You can make the decision to create the most positive outcome. You can make the commitment to focus the energy of the situation in a creative and productive direction.

Instead of turning your eyes away from the difficulty, open your eyes to the powerful opportunity. Choose to envision your own best outcome, then choose to do whatever is necessary to make it happen.

Lilly’s Angel

It’s been an eventful 24hours.  I had my therapy appt. yesterday. I guess it went well.  I always come out there fairly troubled because she’s having me face things that I guess I don’t want to face.  No excuses with her, it is what it is.  I see some very serious changes coming around for 2011. Some will be happy with the changes others might not be so happy.  What is important in this stage of the game is to make ME happy and stop worrying about making everyone else happy and fixing everything. 

As soon as I get home from my appt. I find out that our dog Lilly is missing. I thought she had just gotten loose and hadn’t been gone that long so I wasn’t to worried about it.  I called for her and she didn’t come which was weird but I thought she was off having fun and she would come home when she was done.  I was incredibly tired from having almost no sleep the night before so I took a nap.

To make a long story short our neighbor had hit Lilly with their truck. She ran straight home after she was hit.  The neighbor tried to see if she was ok but Lilly wouldn’t let her anywhere near her.   The last she was seen was at 1:15 that afternoon and it was now 5:45.  I thought she had just been out for maybe an hour. I had no idea. So the search began. I looked all over the property and drove up and down the road then extend my search even further.  My daughter got home and we searched the road on foot and covered all the ground again that I had been through before. Lilly was missing without a trace. She just vanished.  I prayed silently to my Grandpa. He had passed a few years ago and was a huge lover of dogs. I asked him that he keep Lilly safe and to guide us to find her. At this point I just wanted her back, dead or alive. Preferably alive but I had to know. 

I used facebook and plastered her pic every where. Friends put out the word on their facebook. Justin’s gf not only came out in the bitter cold and aided in the search but had her Dad put an ad on the local cable channel.   I called the Sheriff’s dept to report her.  This is a rural community with no animal control so that’s how it’s handled here. They put her in their missing dog log book.  In the morning I called all the local vets offices to see if anyone had brought her in.

Then about noon Lilly just reappeared out of no where. She was toasty warm so she had been somewhere safe. But there had been no traffic on the road. We have no idea how she got home or where she was. We were so happy she was home.  She was injured and I called the vet to make an appt for her. They got her in right away at 1.

Here is a pic of Lilly when we first got her. She looked terrified and she was in pain.

Poor baby had been through such a traumatic experience. She was so happy to see us.  While we were waiting to take Lilly to the vet Liz was having a bite to eat. She hadn’t eaten yet.  We knew Lilly was gonna be ok when she looked at our other dog and wanted to bite her head off for looking at Liz’s food. Lilly is very much the dominant dog.

LIz took Lilly into the vet and they saw her right away. They did a head to toe check then took her to xray. She has a fractured pelvis and has to take it easy for the next 4-6 weeks.  They sent home two weeks of pain pills home with her.  We gave her first one and it’s knocked her out. She’s being really mellow and trust me Lilly is anything but mellow. It hurts her to move even with the pain meds in her.  We are going to keep a super close eye on her for the next few days then slowly let her do a bit more.  We are just so worried about her getting hurt worse. 

She had someone looking out for her yesterday thank the Goddess! We are so very blessed she is home and safe and sound. 

Here is a pic of her all drugged up.

You can tell she’s still hurting. We were trying to get her to eat and drink a little bit. Our poor baby. 

Words of wisdom for today…Hold dear to you everything. You never know when it’s gonna be gone and sometimes you don’t realize how much someone or something means to you until it’s to late.

Cuddles

Sarah is going through some stage where if I’m not sleeping she can’t sleep.  Well….she will sleep on the couch but if I’m not bed she won’t stay in there. Now I know a lot of you are against co/sleeping but I did it with all my girls and it’s just the right fit for us. 

I got up this morning to get the girls off to school and it wasn’t long before Sarah popped up and came out to be with me. She wants to be next to me all the time. If she’s not next or on me, then I have to be within her eye sight. Sarah has never been like this before.

After the girls left for school I put on Sarah’s favorite channel. It’s Sprout and it has all preschool shows 24/7. She’s got her love for Caillou from this channel. Really she has a few shows she likes but Caillou being her favorite next to Dora.

Anyway…so I came to the computer to check e-mail since it’s in the same room while Sarah was entranced in her morning cartoons.  I looked over and she’s cuddling with Guess. So me being me I took a pic. Was just to cute to pass up.

You can tell she is sleepy as she’s sucking on her fingers. I’m not sure what Guess was looking at. Probably Lilly.  It wasn’t much longer that Lilly wanted in on the action and jumped up for a cuddle too.

Lilly got her Monkey back from Guess and Sarah perked up because she had two puppies to cuddle with.  Guess looks a little peeved in this pic. She’s probably thinking damn dog always getting into the middle of everything.

TUESDAY MOTIVATION

Right here

You are right where you should be at this moment. Now it is time to move on to what is next.

Whether your life up to this point has been easy or whether it has been difficult, you are here just the same. And your destiny does not care about your past.

There are plenty of reasons why you find yourself here at this time. What matter much more, though, are the reasons you now have for moving forward.

As good as they have been, your triumphs of the past are now little more than pleasant memories. As painful as they once were, your past failures are now behind you.

Do you realize how completely free you are at this very moment? Do you understand that the main thing holding you back is your belief that something is holding you back?

Today is your opportunity to fully taste that freedom and to finally get beyond the limits you've imposed on yourself. Reach inside, touch your most compelling purpose, and bring your best possibilities to life.

TUESDAY ANGELS

EARTH ELEMENT    Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn

Your Guiding Angel today is: The Angel of Receiving. Angelic Advice: This angel comes to show you that you can give great pleasure to others by receiving. For those who give, there must be a receiver - one who accepts graciously and with true joy and gratitude. Your angels wish you joy in: Accepting life's gifts. .

FIRE ELEMENT    Aries, Leo, Sagittarius

Your Guiding Angel today is: The Angel of Charm. Angelic Advice: Inner nobility, warmth, wit, strength of character and generosity of spirit create outer beauty and undeniable charisma. People will be attracted like moths to a flame. Your angels wish you joy in: Smiles. .

AIR ELEMENT    Aquarius, Gemini, Libra

Your Guiding Angel today is: The Angel of Purpose. Angelic Advice: With purpose, we can focus our soul's work in the best possible way to manifest all that is for our highest good. With purpose, we attract possibilities and opportunities that will lead us towards our goals. Identify a purpose today. You will likely find the universe helping you in many ways. Your angels wish you joy in: Manifesting abundance. .

WATER ELEMENT    Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces

Your Guiding Angel today is: The Angel of Serenity. Angelic Advice: If you allow yourself to sit in stillness under this angel's wings you will feel the calmness and warmth of serenity shine in your soul. The good and bad moments of life do not last and are part of your spiritual growth, so savour every moment in its beauty. Your angels wish you joy in: Knowing surrender. .

Merry Christmas?

Wow looks like I need to decorate for Christmas around here.  I’ll get to it, I haven’t even got my house decorated yet. Do I have any volunteers?  No? Well dang it.

I wanted to share a funny little story with ya’ll.  I got a picture of this very yummy looking person in my email the other day. He was way to yummy to not share so I forwarded him to a few friends. See what a good friend I am?

Here is what I sent to some of my friends.

Now that you’ve seen him you understand why I had to share! Sooooooooooo Sarah who will be 3 the beginning of January came up to me and said “Mommy who is that?” The tone in her voice was complete awe.  I said ummm…errr…Why it’s Santa when he was younger.  Do you think he’s cute. She nodded her head yes and then she says “Nice Hat" and walked away. I thought I was gonna pee I was laughing so hard.  Yes hunny nice hat indeed.

Advice for today? Make sure your little ones are not around when looking at eye candy. Yikes!

grumpy Grump

I don’t feel good, I’m grumpy, I’m going to start my period any second now and I’ve not slept yet.

The sinus pressure is killer, on top of the pressure is a headache from not having my glasses.  They were where they belonged one moment and gone the next, that was two weeks ago. It hurts to swallow and then there is the normal aches and pains that I have to deal with on a daily basis.  I’m back to cat napping and not getting any real sleep. 10 minutes here, an hour there. I can’t get comfortable on the old beat up mattress, I have muscle spasms through out my entire body that will wake me up with a jerk of crazy pain.   My left leg has started giving out on me again and my left hip has been hurting too. 

My house is one big trash heap, ok maybe not that bad. But it’s bad I promise you that. I can’t get the people that live in this house to barley do anything. Goddess forbid anyone do anything extra. Just because I “look” ok it must mean I am ok. I’m not being lazy, I really can’t do this stuff anymore.  My hands have gotten so weak I can’t even pick up a skillet with meat in it and drain it anymore.

My white cell count has been elevated and they can’t find out whats causing it. Maybe that’s part of the reason that I am doing so poorly, I dunno.

I’m tired of asking for help and not getting it. For years and years I just trudged along and never asked for help. I  worked through the pain. Well I can’t do that any more.

I feel as both my health and life are spiraling out of control. I’ve tried being positive but I’m just getting hit with to much negative. I look around the house and see the disarray and just want to ball.  I think it’s safe to say I’m officially depressed. 

I wish I could blog about a few other things that are going on in my life. But I fear it will cause a big drama fest. A few that are close to me know whats going on and I thank you for your support. 

Rick Springfield

For the last week I’ve been reading Rick Springfield’s book Late, Late At Night.  Normally I have a book done in a day or two but I’ve been having a hard time getting into this one.

Now usually if I can’t get into a book within the first few chapters I set it aside and almost never attempt to read it again. But being a long time fan of his I’ve been forcing myself through the pages.  Now don’t get my wrong, it’s not a bad book per say but he’s kinda all over the place. Well sorta like me when I write. LOL

Being the absolute huge fan that I was in the 1980’s I had no idea he was from Australia.  Rick goes into great detail and doesn’t leave anything out.  His honesty is actually shocking and refreshing.  Now I know your thinking, well it IS his Memoir so shouldn’t he be honest? The answer to that is yes, but this is no holds bar.  He’s letting it all hang out.  I’ve laughed with Rick, I’ve cried with Rick, I’ve thought what were you thinking when you did that.  I even actually saw a side to him that I just did not like at all. He was after all my teenage hood icon and I hate to think of him being an asshat.

As the book progresses he matures and is becoming the Rick that I fell in love with at such a young age.  I’ve been struggling to remember but I’m fairly sure I was 12 when I saw him in concert for the first time.  I to this day know all his songs by heart. When I read a title of a song in his book the lyrics come back to me instantly. I have to pause in my reading to sing the song.

Rick was my very first obsession. Well, he’s been my only obsession. LOL.  I had posters all over my walls, I had all his records. I would beg and beg my Mum to let me have it until she finally broke down and let me get it. I would listen to it over and over.

I remember one time when I was 14 he was coming to town and my bff Pam and I were plotting on how we would meet him and get him to take us with him. Me, I was running from my biological Dad and Rick was gonna be my savior. I’m not sure what Pam was running from. Maybe nothing.

We had an elaborate plan all worked out on how we would meet him.  But in the end we just went to the concert and enjoyed it and didn’t even think to follow through on our plan.

I’m about 3/4 of the way through the book now and to the point where he is talking about his rise to success in the 80’s. It brings back such good memories.  I’m looking forward to finishing the book.

I’ve been playing his greatest hits about once a week and two of my girls are starting to sing along with it.  Sophie’s favorite song is “I’ve done everything for you”. I think Emma’s is “Jesse’s Girl”. Me I love it all!  I would so love to see this man in concert just one more time. To get a t-shirt and bask in the memories of my youth.  He was here recently and he’s coming back to Iowa in the not to distant future.  Maybe, just maybe I might be able accomplish that dream.

What book are YOU reading at the moment?