Can’t sleep

As I start to write this it’s ten minutes to four in the morning. No, I haven’t gotten up early, I just haven’t been able to sleep yet. Not sure what's keeping me up. I’m having the usual aches and pains. I don’t have anything pressing on my mind.  For me, I was up and around early with the only nap being the one I had in the MRI machine today. 

I’ve had 6 MRI’s in the year 2011. That’s an all time record for even me. I’ve had one CAT scan, 2 EKG’s, a variety of xrays on various body parts including my hands and feet. Two ultrasounds on my neck. One looking for clogged blood vessels and the other to see if there was any sign of a reoccurrence of my cancer. I had an EEG and a EMG.  Obviously countless doctor appts. More blood tests then I can count.  Needless to say 2011 hasn’t gone so well in the health dept. 

I’m really hoping that 2012 will at minimum not bring any more health problems. Obviously I would prefer to not be in pain every day. But at this point I’ll just be happy to not have any further damage and to not be diagnosed with anything else.

Hard to believe that this is the last official day of 2011. Where did the year go? Seems to have just flown by not only for me but for my family. 
2011 has brought many changes within my family some good and some not so good depending on how you look at things.  Positive is that we are all working to make things better for 2012.

I have my grandbaby over night tonight so Justin and Shawna can go out and celebrate. Oh to be young again. LOL…my idea of celebrating these days is sitting at home with the kids and watching a movie. 
Looking forward to having Ella over, I plan on taking a series of pics of her. I really hope they come out. I’m in serious need of a new camera so we shall see how they come out.

Notes From The Universe

Just now reading e-mail from today and I came across today’s “Notes From The Universe”.  My kinda note.

Do it your way, Jamie.
That's what you're there for.
Ciao,
    The Universe

And actually, Jamie, that's what everyone in your life was counting on, no matter how much they deny it.

 

See I always knew it was supposed to be done my way.

Hope everyone had a great day yesterday and that Santa was good to you. (for those that celebrate)

Game time is in a little less then an hour. Got Chili in the crockpot what a good combo.

Have a nice evening everyone!

Making Do

I’m in a blog writing mood today. Have so many different things I’ve wanted to blog about all week and just haven’t had the time.  One of my goals for the new year is to make more time to blog. I find that it soothes my soul.

We are on the final countdown to Xmas.  Tomorrow is xmas eve.  I have several things I need to get done today. I need to get some last minute items and stuff for Xmas Dinner. Need to do a bit of cleaning. So what do I do instead? Yep, I sit my arse down at the pc and blog. I’m just trying to take a few to relax. I’ve been busy all week with little to no down time.  Listening to a few tunes, checking out facebook, and my e-mail. I also lite an incense to relax and refresh me. Which brings me to this blog.

Some friends of mine where talking about an incense the other day and I thought to myself, I really need to burn some of that. Woke up today thinking now’s a good time to do it. Looked for my incense holder everywhere. I have two of them and I’ll be damned if they are both missing.  I’m not gonna let something as small as a missing incense holder stop me from burning one.
My kids in their younger years were always making me things in art, at school and they’ve just sat around the house. Well today I’ve used two of them as my make due incense holder. You know me, I took a picture to share with all of you.

It’s working perfectly. The kids are complaining because they don’t like the smell. Whatever…I do, and a happy Mum makes for a happy house.

Logitech

Brian bought me a super cool wireless keyboard/mouse that is actually wireless. The one’s I’ve had in the past you still had to have something attached to the tower with a wire. Then the keyboard and mouse would get a signal or something. Heck I dunno. Anyway….
It’s a Logitech Wave The keyboard has all kinds of  functions and is really comfortable to type on. The mouse is pretty nifty too.
I needed a new one as the letters were wearing off on the the old one and some of the keys were sticking. Not sure why, other then I think Emma spilled something on it and didn’t tell me about it.

As you can see it’s got all sorts of buttons.  Whats neat about this is you can also use it with a laptop. For people like me who can’t type on this little things.  It also has a battery saver on it. After you haven’t used it in a certain amount of time it turns off or goes to sleep. Hell I dunno what it does. Both keyboard and mouse have an on/off switch which I thought was pretty nifty but doubt I’ll ever use. It even came with batteries and supposedly the battery life is about two years. We shall see about that. Between me, Emma, and Sophie it gets a lot of use. Brian does use the pc occasionally but isn’t ever on very long.

The only thing you plug into your pc is this little usb thing. You install the software and your good to go.  You can even check to see how much battery life you have left on both mouse and keyboard. Assign different functions for different keys.

I’ve only used it for a day but so far I give it all stars and recommend it.  If your looking to purchase a new wireless keyboard/mouse I suggest getting this one.

 

Tomorrow I go see my pain doc, hoping he can do something for me. He had mentioned on my last visit that he would probably run a few tests since it was end of the year. After that gotta stop by Liz’s and Brian is going to hang up a few pictures for her.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Tuesday and is gearing up for humpday. Which to me is my favorite day because American Horror Story is on! Whoop Whoop!

Have You Ever?

Have you ever done something that was so silly that you just had to laugh at yourself? Well, I tend to do it on an almost daily basis.  Here is just one example of something that happened tonight.

Sarah had just finished using the bathroom and needed help getting wiped up. She’s 3 and doesn’t do so well in the  wipe yourself department.
After I finished wiping her and washing my hands I realized there were not one but two rolls of toilet paper stacked on top of each other on the toilet paper roll holder.  I’ve accepted the fact that I’m the only one in the house that knows how to put a new roll on………. Or am I?
I take in a big sigh and shake my head and put one of the rolls back under the sink. Take the other roll and take the roll holder off so I can put on a fresh roll.  I kept trying to get it on the roll and it just wouldn’t fit. Hmmm….I picked up the offending roll and looked at the bottom, nope nothing in there blocking it from going on. So I tried again a few more times. What in the world is stopping this from going on?
I’m getting frustrated by this point and about to say screw it. When a light bulb went off in my head.  I looked at the roll holder and realized the holder still had the empty cardboard piece still on it. I shook my head *face Palm* and giggled at myself.  Took the old one off and guess what? The new one fit just perfect! Who woulda thunk?!!! *winks*

 

                      

Update

It’s so hard to believe it’s Monday already. Where did the weekend go?
I’ve been in a lot of pain with some severe muscle spasms in my back. They are wrapping around to my ribs and taking my breath away.  The doctor put me on a cocktail of meds to try and help it and told me that my pain doc (which I see in a few days) could probably give me a shot of Botox into the offending muscle.  One of the meds is valium. I’ve never heard of it being a muscle relaxant before though. *shrugs*
  While I've been on xanax for a lot of years for my anxiety issues, valium works loads better. However, he doesn’t want to change me over and its just a temporary med. Darn it, lol.

I got a grand total of about 2 1/2hrs of sleep. Wont be able to go back for a nap after the girls leave for school as I have therapy today.  This will be my 3rd session and so far we haven’t made much head way. I have a feeling I will be going to her for awhile. Learning to deal with some past abuse issues and when you get down to it, I’ve been abused off and on since I was a small child. She feels revisiting my childhood and working through all of that will help with learning for me to be a bit more assertive with my feelings. I’m pretty much an in your face person these days so not sure how much more assertive she wants me to be. LOL

I had my stroke on June 29th and for the most point I’ve pretty much recovered. I recently found out I have two hemorrhages in left eye. Not sure if that’s from the stroke or not.  I’ve recovered full use of my left side though when I smile it’s still just a wee bit lop sided.  I am still having a problem with my social censor. I was way worse so that’s getting better but I have a long way to go.  I tend to tell someone about themselves a wee bit more then I probably should. Some people would see that as a good thing but it’s not when you can’t control it. There is a time and a place for everything. 

I haven’t had a lot of down time to blog lately or was to stressed to put my thoughts down in any sort of a coherent way. I’ve had so many things I’ve wanted to blog about and just never got around to it. However, with that being said. This is my 3rd blog in less then 24 hours. I really hope I can start doing this regularly again. It relaxes me and helps clear my mind.

As you see I’ve updated my blog with a cute holiday theme. Now to just get some Christmas shopping done. I keep putting it off and I’m running out of time. UGH!!!

Try and have a good Monday everyone!

I’ll Be There

Before I even get into the subject of this blog I know that I will probably get a lot of flack for my opinion. However, with that being said. It is MY blog and I have the right to voice my thoughts. I don’t expect you to agree with me. I do ask however, that we leave hate at the door and act like the adults we all are.

Tonight someone on facebook posted a video to a song “I’ll Be There”. It was the Michael Jackson version. I don’t ever remember him singing it. I do however love Mariah Carey’s rendition of it. I quickly went to youtube and pulled it up and was listening to it. While there I saw a few comments that really bothered me. So many saying Michael Jackson’s version was better.  Yeah, so that’s a matter of opinion.

My issue is this, and I’m not going to sugar coat it for anyone. He is a pedophile. I have no respect for him and when he passed away, while I didn’t rejoice, I certainly didn’t mourn his passing.
Many say he didn’t do it and found fault with all the witnesses.  The one thing that sticks in my mind is when the first one came to light the child was supposed to look at a picture to identify some unusual markings on MJ’s penis. Right before MJ was supposed to get the pic done he went and had it bleached. How convenient for him. So of course it would look different in the pic.  Now we all know MJ had skin issues and needed treatments so on and so forth.  Yes the father of the victim was out for money. Does that mean the child was not only victimized by MJ but then again by his own father?

Yes MJ did wonders for the music industry and brought forth so much to it, so on and so forth. I DO acknowledge that.  However, how can we in good conscience hold a person who was so dark on the inside and had countless victims in such high esteem? If he was anyone else people would have been saying throw him away and lose the key.  I just don’t get it.  I do get that money and fame talk.

Anyway…here is the music video to “I’ll Be There” by Mariah Carey. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Hidden

I’ve had a “hidden” illness for many years now. Hidden you ask? It’s an illness that effects people internally and generally not visible to other people.  For example, Fibromyalgia, Lupus, MS, Chronic Fatigue, Rheumatoid Arthritis,the list is endless. All effect our day to day functioning but by looking at us you can’t tell there is anything wrong with us health wise.

I often hear “But you look so good for all your health problems”, that really irritates me.  Then I would sigh, push away the fact that I’m irritated and just chalk it up to something that a person can’t understand unless they are physically living with it.

I have Fibro, IBS w/diarrhea, Chronic fatigue, thyroid problems due to thyroid cancer, RA, neuropathy, really the list is to long to list everything that is wrong with me. They do all have one thing in common. They are hidden.  I ran across an article today that finally explains to the "average” person how it feels to have a hidden illness.  While the article is from someone who has Lupus it does describe what anyone with a hidden illness goes through. You just have to change a few things around with the symptoms. The end result is the same.

What’s this explanation you ask? It’s called “The Spoon Theory” If you know anyone that has one of these hidden illnesses I implore you to read about it. Click “Here” to be taken to it. The link will open up in a new tab/window.

I had both Brian and Emma read it and I could tell it impacted both of them. I’m really hoping that they can understand me a bit better now. 

Here is to hoping everyone is having a good start to the holiday season.

Sticky

As the clock struck 11:30pm, all was quiet in the Becker household. Not a creature was stirring not even a………………………Oh wait, sorry, wrong story .  Got carried away with the thoughts of Yule.
Anyway, earlier in the week we had an invasion of flys. I know, right, flys the end of Nov. in Iowa, who would of thunk it? In face we have never had a fly invasion of this proportion since we’ve lived here.  They were all collecting on the ceiling and with my short self and the fact I’m afraid of heights that’s where they were staying.  Yes even standing on a chair scares the crap outta me.

I called Brian and asked him if he would pick up some fly strips on his way home.  He thought I was insane asking for them but non the less he still picked up some.  For those of you who are not familiar with them I grabbed a pic off of the internet for you. I’m such a thoughtful blogger.

You hang it up and the strip is all glue so the flys just stick to it.

We had one hanging from a ceiling fan and I didn’t think to much about it. Just wanted to get those pesky flies outta my house.

The next night all the lights were off as everyone was asleep and I was at my computer when all of a sudden I hear a ruckus behind me.  I hear Zoey (our cat) scrambling around on the table then I hear the chair falling to the ground and the race is on. She is running around the house like she’s on fire. Turns out she had been batting at the fly strip and it fell on her. Since it’s covered in glue it stuck to her and it wasn’t going anywhere. Finally after running around for a good 10minutes she was able to get it off of her. It actually got caught on a door and ripped a bunch of her fur off.  She was one sticky kitty!!!
I held here while Brian tried to use a baby wipe to get some of the glue off of her. No luck…so he held her while I combed her hair…again no luck.